Shakes and Shifts

Summer was a season

Summer was an eternity

Summer was a blink

Summer was all the things!?

I'm not sure about you, but this was the first time I can remember wanting Summer to be over.

Born and raised in the South, heat and humidity are old friends. But the heat I experienced this Summer was on the inside and it near burned me up, for reals. I was deeply uncomfortable in a myriad of ways. The only saving grace was the random check-ins with my Heart and Spirit, they were both always and have been at peace, like a placid lake. Ha!

It was wild, I'd be virtually losing my mind and my Spirit would be like, "girl, we're good, take a walk, have a sit, you're ok". This was hard to hold at times because it meant trusting my Spirit and acknowledging there were things happening outside of my control that were definitely impacting me but acting from this place of KNOWING that I was ok. This is easier said than done. It often meant living literally moment to moment, which was beautiful and terrifying. I am kinda still living from that place but there has been some ease and I do believe it is at least partially due to the larger shift that is presently Equinox and the Autumnal season in general.

To be fair, I began to feel some respite in early August, July was a beast, to be sure. I survived and with August came a cooling on both the inside and the outside. I felt I could breathe again. I finally accepted the fact that my usual methods of healing and caring for myself during difficult times were a little outdated. I am different, therefore some of the ways I self-soothe, care-take and love me are different. It took me a minute to have the patience and kindness with myself to learn some of these new ways of loving me. I won't lie, I was a bit stubborn and headstrong about it for probably too long.

Despite an acute desire to isolate and hide my discomfort at times, I made it a point to let both friends and family know I was struggling a bit. I've learned that even when I don't want anyone else around, it's nice to know someone or someones are aware of my experience. Also, when I am able to be with, be present and engage, I don't have to perform and/or hide who I am, even if who I am isn't fun Chelsa, silly Chelsa, outgoing/chatty Chelsa, _________ Chelsa. I can just BE. What a relief, what a joy, what a gift.

Yey peeps!

The Upshot:

Because I was often able to be in the moment, really let most days unfold and roll out with little to no expectation, I also experienced immense happiness and unexpected pleasure. I had more nods, affirmations and portents from the Universe this past few months than I've had this past year. This too has allowed me to tolerate my discomfort when it threatened to overwhelm me. Another support was this idea of Oneness I mentioned. Looking to others and their experiences and how they managed and navigated them has been a comfort. I think it has also increased my empathy and compassion, not only for others but also for myself.

Whew! Yeah, it been a lot.

In this moment, I want to say, I wouldn't change a thing but to be honest I don't think I can say that right now. Maybe in a few more months, ha! We'll see.

What I do know is, it's better everyday and that is enough for me.

I'm going to continue to lean in to my placid Heart and Spirit

Trust the Universe

Have Faith

you know...all that good stuff ;)

a little musical fodder

• That's All - Genesis

• Like the Weather - 10,000 Maniacs

• Still Ill - The Smiths