Outside Time

I have been in a space of "no time". I want to say for the past week and a half, but honestly, that is just what I can point to, from a place of awareness. Maybe I have been, always, ha! Some call it No Time. I lean into Outside Time a bit more because it allows for the fact that we generally live from a space where Time is happening. This is a shared collective space that we have co-created. It is lovely and awesome and scary and dangerous and violent. And, we often find beauty and connection and love there (here).

In Outside Time, we are all good! We have all that we need and want, in every moment. There is no lack. To bring this forth, into our shared co-created reality, means I work with the knowledge that lack is a manifestation of Time, in the shared reality. Holding space for Outside Time, in our shared reality, almost necessarily hurts due to the low-key incongruence that is ever present between Outside Time and our shared co-created reality (Time). Lack is a real and palpable embodied experience in Time. With that, there is a constant pull (groundedness) and push (movement upwards) that is reconciling discomfort in The Present.

This cognitive dissonance is the suffering I experience l when I perceive lack. It happens when I want something that I don't have, a situation that I want to be different, but isn't; some desire that goes unfulfilled. In these moments, when The Present rises up, I know that Outside Time has me! It's holding me. I have everything, all the things that I think I need or want. In those moments, I can find a bit of ease. Of course, In Time Chelsa is doing who knows what to get at those things, with and/or without shame, embarrassment, self-abandonment...you name it, I might be doing it. But that bit of ease, does rise up. It might last a moment, a minute, a day, a lifetime (i mean...Outside Time!).

I arrive in The Present, now. Now. Now. In those moments of Arrival, I know that I am held!

I want to acknowledge, again, that I am currently, simultaneously inhabiting both Outside Time and Time (our shared co-created reality) while writing this and to be fair, it is a liminal space, in which ALL is well and good. "And if I seem a little strange, well, that because I am"- The Smiths.

a little musical fodder

• Black Cab - Jens Lekman

• True Happiness This Way Lies - The The